around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
