HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
