I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
