i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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