Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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