I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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