bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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