Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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