I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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