in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
