there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
