i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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