your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
