its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I want to be your penis for a week.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
