She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
