You made me cry and you don't even care
Me too!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
