sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
