I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
