Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
