Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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