she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize