Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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