No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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