don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
