i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
