he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
