I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
