If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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