i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
