The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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