note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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