Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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