Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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