well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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