Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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