Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
