Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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