Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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