Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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