seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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