I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
