dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
