Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
