Soap is not a condiment
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You've changed since you got that strap on
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize