The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
