Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
