Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
