so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
