Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
