a queef is a wish your heart makes.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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