so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
