But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
