Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
