My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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