You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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