She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it's like iHOP with fire
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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