I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
