You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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