I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
