you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
