oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
