No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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